Forgiving
The Jonah Complex is the fear of success which prevents self-actualization, or the realization of one's potential.[1][2] It is the fear of one's own greatness, the evasion of one's destiny, or the avoidance of exercising one's talents.[1][3] Just as the fear of achieving a personal worst can motivate personal growth, the fear of achieving a personal best can also hinder achievement.[1]
So many things in life can paralyze our minds, and fear is the biggest to overcome, it masks our greatness,and stops us from letting others discover our gifts and graces. I believe all of us have an innate fear of something, however identifying it may be a difficult task. I personally think that through soul searching, meditation, and hypnotherapy we can unleash the fears, and move on with our lives. When we are young if we are raised in an environment that does not allow us to grow emotionally, and too much emphasis is put on our negative behaviors, as adults we may live in fear of failure. First and foremost I believe that forgiveness of others no matter how difficult will set us free. Below is an example of my 12 steps written for myself to help guide and strengthen my soul.
12 Steps for Everyday Living.
1.) Forgive - forgiveness is the base for all healing, and without forgiveness it can lead to several emotional issues.
2.) Love yourself first always- without this you can not love another. Do a self love affirmation everyday.
3.) Every day is a restart, leave the problems in the past where they belong. Dwelling on what you did wrong in the past is counter productive, move towards forward motion.
4.) Meditate everyday- do this to help you reflect on what is positive in life. Helps to reduce stress.
5.) Happy- do what makes you happy not what makes others happy. We can not live life through others.
6.) Educate- every day learn one new thing. You never know what knowledge can you help in the future.
7.) Give back- something you can give to the community, and it does not have to be monetary.
8.) Hobby- at least one thing you do just for you.
9.) Courage- face your problems head on, and don’t make your problems others problems.
10.) Outdoors- See new things.
11.) Distance- yourself from negativity. Keep distance from those who are negative .
12.) Spiritual-feel you have faith, and a connection.
I feel that neuro linguistic programing tehnique for forgiveness works well, I like to use this process in a transpersonal way to help individuals to heal from their past traumas. This techniques primary use is to allow a client to move on from the enslavement , to teach them that letting go of emotions such as anger, and sadness helps create freedom in our everyday lives. This method frees our mind by letting us forgive the person we are upset with and by doing so we stop thinking about them constantly and that allows our mind to be free.
Here is an example of the Forgiving script:
The first step in this technique is to establish what situation or person the client needs to forgive, asking them questions like have you ever forgiven someone in the past?
What did it take to get there? How did it feel? What can you remember?
This will help to establish what it will take to get them through the process. The second part of the technique will be dealing with what the client feels will happen by forgiving and reaching forgiveness, the client may respond with comments like “ if I forgive him that makes him right” or “If I forgive them I can not protect myself against him hurting me in the future”.The clients objections will have to be met with a positive reinforcement “ If you forgave him you can still remain in forgiveness, and stay separated from the individual in the future if you chose to”. Other objections that may come from a client would be “If I forgive this person, I am not strong”.” What you should see is yourself is a person of great will, compassion, and the strength to forgive”. The next step is the experiment, first have the client think of someone they like very much, and on the other hand someone they dislike, after identifying these people think of them simultaneously. The next step is to keep thinking about these people, now see how they are represented differently in your mind. First look at the images, one will seem closer, and the other will be farther away, look at the colors, the distance, and to what side of you they are located at. Next I want you to think about sound, tone, and tempo of these individuals. Does one of them have a softer or louder voice? Does one of them have a better pace to what they say? Now notice the differences in your feelings. Are you closer to one individual than another? Do you have a warm or cold feeling for one individual or the other? Is there one you feel more in sync with? Now I want you to exchange places with the two individuals for example if the person you disliked was in back of you, and the person you do like is in front now change places, most individuals are resistant to this. Many people will refuse to do this. The main point is they need to see the process even though they are resistant they will soon see how easy the exchange can be. It is important before making these changes that the individual feels comfortable and safe.
Individuals often think that forgiveness has to mean condoning the person that they are angry with or condoning their behavior, these individuals will need a re frame of their objections, some may also feel that the anger is protecting them so they hold onto it, the will need a re frame of something positive to hold on to.
To forgive yourself or others will set your soul free and deliver yourself to a realm of joy!Louise Hay one of my mentors, when you hear her talk she heals your soul.
http://www.healyourlife.com/give-yourself-permission-to-forgive
If for some reason you can not move on, and forgive I encourage you to try NLP, and Transpersonal hypnotherapy. You can start out small by making your 12 steps for everyday living, and meditate. Move forward as your mind allows.
Reference
:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonah_complex
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